Amour

At times,
I hid,
shadowed,
society,
seemingly,
ice cold.

Instinctively,
along pavements,
I walked,
in search,
of the sun.

Honest,
em' pavements,
are mean,
bare footed,
crossing between,
each aligned pebbles.

Crowds,
they gathered,
staring,
I persevered,
faithfully.

Finally,
one little step,
I tripped,
helplessly,
lying flat.

There,
you stood,
your eyes,
determined,
little by little,
I climbed up.

And there on,
you accepted,
my reach,
walking,
through,
these pavements,
and forever,
my amour,
you shall remain.

Steadfast

Dear heart,
I'll be honest,
Part of me,
Screams out loud,
Wanting you close,
Right here.

Dear heart,
I have yet,
to sustain myself,
of sufficient resources,
of solid composure,
of undying faith,
that able me,
to make you,
mine.

Dear heart,
Half,
was your response,
made me clueless,
whether if,
you're with,
or against.

But,
dear heart,
I'll be back,
with needs,
to finally,
wills me,
to have you.
Till' then,
I'd offer,
my steadfast soul.

Numb

Conscience.
Oh dear,
conscience.
Where,
oh to where,
have you lead?

All this while,
you complained.
Every second,
you raged.
Even at the smallest,
tiniest abnormality.
But for what?

Stop.
Take a few seconds,
breathe in.
Have you forgotten?

For He,
created the Sun,
the Moon and Limitless Sky.

For He,
created beauty,
significant excellence.

For He,
made creatures,
of brilliance and,
yet, emotional.

Not once,
not even once.
He stopped,
sharing all,
every single creation.

Ask,
question,
why not you?

Eyes,
to observe.

Ears,
to listen.

Mouth,
to speak.

Hands,
to offer.

Legs,
to reach.

How far?
How much,
have you shared?
Numb.

Astaghfirullah.
Subhanallah.
Masha' Allah.
Alhamdulillah.

Every,
day,
hours,
minutes,
seconds,
moments,
is an actual blessing.

Fortify

Indeed,
I am not,
anywhere near perfect,
my apologies,
perfection was never,
my intention.

Though,
I thank you,
you make me re-evaluate,
what life means,
all this while,
everything seems lost.

Mistakes,
they haunt me,
I wronged myself,
for tearing down,
the walls I built,
time to re-fortify.

Regret,
It's not regret,
you were my drug,
but as they said,
drugs makes you weak,
drugs kill from the inside.

Sweet,
you were sweet,
truth be told,
I still plan,
of what I mentioned,
to grow old,
with you,
needless of consequences,
though it seemed,
very unlikely.

I bid you well,
and that,
you shall,
obtain true happiness.

Consensus

The sky,
the sun,
the stars,
the moon.

They agreed.
I have not been,
what a man,
should've been.

They have been,
witnesses for what,
little, very little,
of what had been contributed.

Bragged,
all this while,
with nothing done,
dead; I was.

Am I alive?
What's the proof?
I have no absolute,
living proof.

It has come to,
the universe's consensus,
that I am in fact,
a loser.

Done;
I shall get up,
stand tall,
move forward.

Goodbye.

Timorous

Loyalty.
Have I rights?
To claim such comportment?

I wish,
to never,
drag a single,
innocent soul.

What do I offer?
Nothing,
except all of me.

Thus,
moonwalk,
I shall.

I am that,
timorous,
but I have,
and always will,
loved.

Glass-walled

Oh dear,
Where is my reflection?
These glass,
they're mirrors,
but where?
Where is my reflection?

Do I not fit in?
That,
even my reflection,
does not appear?
Maybe,
my unfaithfulness,
caused its disappearance.

Ya Allah,
Ya Rahman,
Ya Rahim.
Please give me the chance,
to get closer to You,
abiding Your rules,
avoiding Your restrictions.

And maybe,
afterwards,
my reflection shall appear,
and when,
it finally does,
I bet it would be,
of many flaws.

Ya Allah,
I have fallen,
for one,
of Your beautiful creation,
but please, my Creator,
please bear me the trouble,
to get closer to you,
before I do,
her.

Please let me,
patch my flaws,
before I am capable,
of leading her on.

Aaminn.

Tracert

And I,
Lived today,
Alhamdulillah for another day.

But why?
Caraphernelia,
it haunts me,
once again.

Why does it ache?
Why do I feel empty?
Why am I not at peace?

Is it again,
that time of the month?
Where wind blows harshly,
moon seems to fade,
the mood swings.

I guess,
it is time,
for a tracert.

Checking for,
the route which,
made me meet my ends.
And reroute,
I shall.

Beginning of the End

Breath;
Close to 25 years now.
Alhamdulillah,
for waking up,
with the ability to breath.

Frustration;
Through 25 years,
still an odd Muslim.
Hoping to improve,
abiding every rules,
neglecting all that He forbids,
in shaa Allah.

Content;
Never,
had boisterous hardships,
of not having food on the table,
of not being able to perform,
of not being able to speak.
Alhamdulillah.

Thankful;
For all the joy.
For all the experience.
For the world.

Ambition;
To be a better person.
To be a better Muslim.
To be a better son.
To be a better friend.
To be her pillow talk buddy, period.

Is this?
The beginning of the end?
I hope it is.
As, I wish to grow old,
with her.

Perpetual

Tripping.
Over what's worth.

Contemplating.
Between wants and needs.

Anxious.
Of the consequences.

Restless.
Finding for answers.

Praying.
To not astray.

Vexation.
Of own thoughts.

Right now,
I just wish,
to focus,
on a path,
that may one day,
lead on,
to a greener side.

Let's be honest,
green haven't been,
as great as they,
had always deemed to be.

It's about satisfaction.
and being grateful,
for all that you have.

I'll take small steps,
for,
this journey?
It ends nowhere.

Ardent

Could you see?
The flames?
You're to blame.
You lit it.

Restless,
Just can't stop,
all there is,
was you.

It's bad,
no, worse,
when I actually,
obliged to much,
much more.

I don't wanna,
throw this out,
nor have it kept,
deep inside,
I longed for you,
and another part,
wishing it never,
ever happened.

Got in too deep,
I'd try to retain,
from rushing in,
cos' I know,
it would repel you,
further away.

This ardent little boy,
you raised,
just by being you.

TH8 War Base

So far only 2 starred.
3 starred by TH9. T.T

Stitches

Awhile it has been,

since last I ever felt,

the existence of a being,

able to get through,

the wall I put up,

that was never that tough.

And now,

seems that I've ripped,

all that I ever sowed,

from all those beat up,

half dead; I endured.

Unable, I am,

to read in between lines,

drawn by shadows,

shadows of you.

A crossroad, re-opens,

in which each paths,

have of unspoken,

mysterious consequences.

I am unsure,

if I am ready,

to sow together,

the stitches,

which ever so long,

I've kept in tact.

TH7 Farm Base (w/ Air Sweeper)

Another post on a humble TH7 Farm Base.

TH7 War Base (w/ Air Sweeper)

Just my humble war layout is all.
Enjoy.

Remorse

Sometimes,
I wish, to just,
turn around,
go back to that moment,
where we were friends.

Truth be told,
I miss you,
I was in,
way deep,
heads over heels.

I went,
a little over a mile,
I made enemy,
with you,
whom now,
I miss most.

I just wish,
you could forgive me,
I just wish to know,
you're happy,

Please,
have one last courtesy,
to at least inform,
of when,
you're walking down the isle,
with him,
cos' that,
would be my,
happy ending.

-FNhAR-