Glass-walled

Oh dear,
Where is my reflection?
These glass,
they're mirrors,
but where?
Where is my reflection?

Do I not fit in?
That,
even my reflection,
does not appear?
Maybe,
my unfaithfulness,
caused its disappearance.

Ya Allah,
Ya Rahman,
Ya Rahim.
Please give me the chance,
to get closer to You,
abiding Your rules,
avoiding Your restrictions.

And maybe,
afterwards,
my reflection shall appear,
and when,
it finally does,
I bet it would be,
of many flaws.

Ya Allah,
I have fallen,
for one,
of Your beautiful creation,
but please, my Creator,
please bear me the trouble,
to get closer to you,
before I do,
her.

Please let me,
patch my flaws,
before I am capable,
of leading her on.

Aaminn.

Tracert

And I,
Lived today,
Alhamdulillah for another day.

But why?
Caraphernelia,
it haunts me,
once again.

Why does it ache?
Why do I feel empty?
Why am I not at peace?

Is it again,
that time of the month?
Where wind blows harshly,
moon seems to fade,
the mood swings.

I guess,
it is time,
for a tracert.

Checking for,
the route which,
made me meet my ends.
And reroute,
I shall.

Beginning of the End

Breath;
Close to 25 years now.
Alhamdulillah,
for waking up,
with the ability to breath.

Frustration;
Through 25 years,
still an odd Muslim.
Hoping to improve,
abiding every rules,
neglecting all that He forbids,
in shaa Allah.

Content;
Never,
had boisterous hardships,
of not having food on the table,
of not being able to perform,
of not being able to speak.
Alhamdulillah.

Thankful;
For all the joy.
For all the experience.
For the world.

Ambition;
To be a better person.
To be a better Muslim.
To be a better son.
To be a better friend.
To be her pillow talk buddy, period.

Is this?
The beginning of the end?
I hope it is.
As, I wish to grow old,
with her.