Started the ball rolling

I wonder, since when did it got so deep into me? I've known her for years. It was back, since the start of my diploma pursuing. Both of us are going out of state, to pursue that one scroll, to maybe earn a little bit more than what we could have without it. 2008. Exact date? I couldn't remember, I'm getting really old. It was then, that I think started the ball rolling. A dialog between me and her during our first semester of study, not the exact dialog, but it goes somewhat like this:

Me : 'How's your study? Is the campus fine?'

Her : 'I don't like it here.'

Me : 'I don't like it here either, maybe we should run away together.'

Her : 'Yeah, maybe we should.'

Damn, that was the real start. But back then, I was damn immature, being very insecure about anything related to relationships and commitment. I thought of nothing but more than a mere simple crush. As time goes by, yes, I've met other crushes along the way, thought of getting serious, but failed, in all. I guess God doesn't approve me of being in a relationship, if I don't mean to make that exact girl to be my only one.

Time passes through, we chatted along the way, and about last year (2012), we had this random conversation using sms.

Me : 'Hey, you still listen to hardcore songs or have you turn to lovey dovey songs?'

Her : 'Why? Do you intend to scold me if I do?'

Me : 'No, of course not, I just wanna let you hear this song 'Pierce the Veil - Caraphernelia'.'

Her : 'Oh okay, I thought you wanted to ask me to be those softer girls.'

Me : 'Nah, just listen to the song.'

Her : 'Okay, i'll listen to it later.'

Oh God, she thought I was gonna scold her and persuade her into listening love songs? Please. And at another time, I actually hid my birth date from fb. Only a few of my best friends wished me that time. And out of nowhere, around 2-3 days later, she messaged me saying 'Happy belated birthday'. I was like, what? You remembered? Gosh. That moment, heart stopped. So, this is how far it has become.

Watashi wa sukides, sukidessu, FNhAR-chan.

Sincerely,
Me.