The Delivery & Aftermath

So, I was really nervous 'bout sending the card over to her.

5/8/2013:

I reached home at about 3.30p.m. and every moment later was stressful.

Until it was around 8p.m. where I finally gathered what few courage I have left.

Took a shower and got ready to head to the masjid.

Took the card along with me, hoping that, when I reach her place, her car would be there.

Whereby if I went too late, scare that it might attract suspicion from her neighbours.

So, I went, and yeah! Her car was there! Card placed into position, and I left.

Later after the prayers, I head there again, to see if she's taken the card.

Seems not.

6/8/2013:

It was her birthday. I did not send her any text but later roughly at 10a.m.

I saw her online on whatsapp and decided to text her.

Once again, no replies.

She was online every hour, but yeah, still no replies.

I wonder, if she's angry? Frustrated? Disappointed? Ashamed? Happy?

Everything ran through my mind and finally got me in such a state that I feel so terrible.

Late in the evening I lost all my senses and gotten raged cos' of such a small thing.

Really, my emotions? Such a horrible attitude I have.

Perhaps this is why I could never attain those which I wish to have.

But, yeah, the pain.

It deepens every second.

Dear Lord, please save me from this terrible feelings.

Sincerely,

Me.