Seeking Salvation: August 2013

Sunday, 11 August 2013

Salvation Restarts

Thank you for everything.
I will continue my path.
I bid you well in all your wishes and aims.
Perhaps, one day.
Maybe, never.
Still, life goes on.

Sincerely,
Me.

Divulged

As the title states.

It has finally come to that.

Truth be told.

I'm not sure about what or how I feel.

She has someone else.

He's lucky, if I might say.

He's got a fighter, a sweet one.

He's got someone, who I thought not many would want.

He's got an amazing, beautiful girl to call his own.

She's beautiful, inside out.

She's amazing, needlessly.

She's everything, I would want.

Well, she's her.

Me?

I'm not broken.

Me?

I'm praying for her happiness.

Me?

I'd still be here, giving her my all, in the shadows.

Me?

I'll be gone.

Me?

I just wished she kept that card, at least.

Apparently, I don't think she did. </3

Sincerely,

Me.

-End-

1444 hour, 8/11/2013.

Thursday, 8 August 2013

MashaAllah. She changed her status.
'8aug n im movin on. <3'
With a darn love sign?!
Nani koreee??
Q.Q Watashi.. watashi...
*breaksdown*
What does it mean?!
Gahhhhhhhhh!
Please replyyyyy~?
Watashi wa sukidessu. Hontou sukidessu!

Q.Q
*sits in a dark corner*

Wednesday, 7 August 2013

Closing Curtain

Bismillah.
Assalamualaikum.

Kalau ikut kehendak, ingin sahaja disusun sepuluh jari,
ingin memohon maaf, kepada semua,
namun sepuluh kelihatan tidak memadai,
akan tetapi, telah terbuku dihati,
untuk meminta, memohon maaf,
dari hujung rambut, hingga ke hujung kaki,
andai kata diri ini,
terlalu alpa dalam mengejar kebaikan duniawi,
maafkanlah, diri hamba, yang hina serta kerdil.

Salam Aidilfitri bagi semua.
Mohon maaf zahir dan batin.
Taqabbal Allahu Minna Wa Minkum.

Next Step

As painful as it is inside,

I still don't wanna forget about her,

Did all that I could,

She never replied a single word,

Perhaps it's bound to happen,

So, what's next on list?

October.

That would be the last try,

Before I would keep myself silent,

From trying too hard by physical,

And move in towards the abstraction,

Only that I could do,

For I have no strength to force you,

To reply to any of my text or calls,

So, I wait, with what little patience I have.

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

The Delivery & Aftermath

So, I was really nervous 'bout sending the card over to her.

5/8/2013:

I reached home at about 3.30p.m. and every moment later was stressful.

Until it was around 8p.m. where I finally gathered what few courage I have left.

Took a shower and got ready to head to the masjid.

Took the card along with me, hoping that, when I reach her place, her car would be there.

Whereby if I went too late, scare that it might attract suspicion from her neighbours.

So, I went, and yeah! Her car was there! Card placed into position, and I left.

Later after the prayers, I head there again, to see if she's taken the card.

Seems not.

6/8/2013:

It was her birthday. I did not send her any text but later roughly at 10a.m.

I saw her online on whatsapp and decided to text her.

Once again, no replies.

She was online every hour, but yeah, still no replies.

I wonder, if she's angry? Frustrated? Disappointed? Ashamed? Happy?

Everything ran through my mind and finally got me in such a state that I feel so terrible.

Late in the evening I lost all my senses and gotten raged cos' of such a small thing.

Really, my emotions? Such a horrible attitude I have.

Perhaps this is why I could never attain those which I wish to have.

But, yeah, the pain.

It deepens every second.

Dear Lord, please save me from this terrible feelings.

Sincerely,

Me.

Monday, 5 August 2013

Butterflies

Bismillah.

Oh Lord, it's like I'm having a nervous breakdown.

Tomorrow's the big day. Gonna give the card to her.

Ohhhhhh my. Hope she'll keep the card. Q.Q though I can't stop wondering if she'd throw away the card. Hmmm. :( So, anyways, here's the preview of the card.